Youtube (April 2010 Upgrade) Sucks

Well, I thought it was just an April Fool joke when I login to Youtube that day - the layout was terrible. The comments are disorganized, I always get page cannot display error which is fine after a few refresh (stupid right). It's 18th April today and I realize that Youtube isn't going to do much about it having seen no improvement for the past two weeks. Some Youtubers posted that people should check out Metacafe.com and you know what? I just did and I must say that I lurve Metacafe as it has similar interface with the old Youtube design. *Swoon*

Now, play these videos ( from Metacafe ), sit back, close your eyes and enjoy the tune (you might want to let it get fully loaded first before playing).

The New Pornographers - Adventures in Solitude

 

Mark Mulcahy - The Cookie Jar

Burnout

Once upon a time, the adrenalin high from deadlines, long hours, and excessive responsibility – I loved it all because I know I could do it. Ten years forward though in what you call present day and present state of mind, all that is no longer the case. Burnout is an apt word to describe. I have fallen before into several long periods of unproductive paralysis. Most times, I had held my head up high and soldier on, because I chose to look at the glass being half full, on the way to filling up with magic. Magic did happen, but ...I am again looking and staring at the glass - still being half-full, wondering if its contents will vaporize, or if its contents should have alcohol in it?

I know there is no standing still. No one can stand still and watch the world go by. The earth orbits around the sun in perpetual motion and so does every element in the universe, from the very smallest quarks to the biggest of matter. Things will come to pass .... eventually.

Malaysia Is a Desert In Its Driest Month

I have always hated February as it is the start of the driest period in Malaysia. It always lasts for months, sometimes right up to September, but February is always the hottest month followed by March and April.

These days, the Earth feels like a burning hellhole that I wonder if God has given hope on humankind. The sun stings skin deep. The heatwave is in the air. Even when you're in the comfort of your home you could still melt like butter, baby. When it does rain, the angriest sound of thunder permeates the grey evenong sky as if someone has stolen God's PSP. Lightning cracks through the horizon in quick succeession as if the end of days are near. Ohh, shudder!

All these years, I have never been thankful for the annual haze 'pilgrimage' from neighboring Indonesia to here. But this year is a grateful exception; the haze blocks the direct sun ray. Now, I could at least go under the sun for five minutes without my UV-umbrella. Yep, I am kiasu like that...

Passion Is

Rockband is seriously fun, no wonder it's the talk of the town. At such a price (way over RM2K for the whole set), it should be worth every single sen spent. Though I like Rockband terribly, I am glad to report that I am not a junkie yet.

I suck at the guitar, even more so at the drum, but at least I could hummmmmm some of the tune without getting less than 50% rating. Good enough lah.

The list of songs are quite limited and strictly Rock gila babi. My favorites are Creep by Radiohead, Learn To Fly by Foo Fighters, In Bloom by Nirvana, I Think I'm Paranoid by Garbage, Say It Ain't So by Weezer (I was actually hoping for the inclusion of some good numbers like Perfect Situation, Buddy Holly or The Damage In Your Heart). The only Bon Jovi song in the list is Wanted Dead or Alive which I don't really fancy. Other than that, some of the songs selected by Harmonix beg the question, "What the fuck?"

I still prefer Nintendo Wii over Rockband anytime. Just one try at it and I'm hooked already, body mind and soul.

Expensive games. Huhuhu.... For now, I'll stick to my favorite and free-to-play Scrabulous. I am Scrab fab most time until Bongo beat me left, right and center.

Yo, Bongo, bila mau claim your NZN?

Anywayz, been toying with the idea of having 50s hairstyle - big natural wave but my stylist was against it. Let's see, maybe when I manage to get my hair length past my shoulder, then I could insist on getting that perm. He's always love short 'do on me. Four months ago he did a fabulous pixie haircut. And I loved it.

This is the style I want but I didn't get.

Today, I paid my favorite stylist a visit again. I went in looking drab but when I walked out from the salon, there's that million-dollars-feeling again. However this time, it took a couple of hours getting used to the structured bob ala Cleopatra with slanting geometric fringe.

Came out with this stylo.

Although the fringe is slanting and not straight

Which could be styled like this

Or, like this

This. Feels. Good.

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary

A 'rock fell to the ground' (sort of) in the form of cousin Mary. It was Wednesday - the sudden public holiday announced by the PM. I had the day planned but her last minute call on Tuesday evening means I will have to re-schedule. Killjoy!

I had to get her from KLS then to her place. Had to show her how to get around from her apartment to her training center. In between the walk, the ride, the food, the drink, the ...whatever, I had to listen to her never ending questions. If I don't answer, she will repeat herself. No escape!

An inquisitive character she is, bordering on the really busy body type. And just so you know it, I FVCKING HATE QUESTIONS. So to pacify myself, it's okay, I thought, juuuuust for Wednesday. I was wrong.

She found me on Thursday and Friday and Saturday and Sunday. In the days after her arrival on Wednesday, I had to endure questions, more questions and continuous flow of questions. They are all seemingly innocent questions but as I have mentioned already, refer above statement in big caps.

Let me give you an example. On the topic of living, here are just a few of the many questions I had to face...

Where do you live? Is it far from here? About half an hour or more? How much is it if by cab? Is there a bus going there? Is there a 'commuter' going there? Ok, is there LRT going there? Who do you live with? What race are they? Are they good? How did you know them? Can you trust them? Are they trustable? How do you know you can trust them? Are they working? What are they working as? Are they your colleagues? Do they work nearby your office? How old are they? Single or married? Do you cook? Do they cook? What do you guys eat everyday?

For once, I really wanted to tell her to STOP BEING A BUSY BODY but out of 'respect' (she's a lot older than moi), I just have to be content saying it out loud in the head. You probably think I made that up, but that's the truth and it's not screwed.

I spent the whole Saturday afternoon till 10pm with her at MV. Towards the evening, when my legs and knees couldn't take it anymore, I told her to do her shopping on her own and I will be movie-watching on my own while waiting for her.

I went to GSC Signature, paid RM20 for a Premiere ticket. But 10 minutes into the show and about to sink into the whole RM20 worth of experience, the guy behind my chair started to periodically 'accidentally' knocked my chair. If you have been to Premiere halls, you probably noticed the legs space between the rows of chairs are so bloody spacious a cow could practically sleep there.

It really is inconsiderate for the motherfucker behind me to do that. Considering my agitated state of mind thanks to Mary's ceaseless verbal 'prodding' earlier, I was considerably calm when I politely told the guy not to rock my chair because I feel uncomfortable and nauseous.

He did not reply. Zzzip. Quiet.

Still, throughout the movie, he kicked the back of my chair more than a couple of times. See, polite seldom works?

Right after the movie ended, I stood up, turned around to face him and said, Hey you, you know there are alot of space between your chair and mine, yet you still kick my chair when I asked you not to!

Instead of apologizing, he had a smirk on his face while saying, Is it? Is it? Is it?

He was pretending to be dumb and challenging me, sort of. Hah! Okay. Sengaja wan lah...

He probably didn't anticipate what I did next. With my vocal 2 notches higher, I told him off (right in front of the other moviegoers) : Of course you did. Are you pretending to be stupid or is your vocabulary really that limited?

He was sitting then, but upon hearing my rather loud 'comment', he quickly stood up and hissed, Bitch!

Hah! Wrong turn.

I replied, Ahhhh yes, apparently I am BUT only to deserving people, LIKE YOU. And apparently too, you only LOOK rich from the outside, what with all the brands from head to toe, but money does not seem to be able to buy YOU brain and manners. Oh wait, by BITCH you mean your girlfriend? That's her naaaaaaaame? The one who deep-throated you just now? Hah! Makes perfect sense now!

He's probably stumped so before he could utter a reply, I left as fast as I could. Hah! I bite! I do!

Eventful? Yes, indeed. I screwed someone.

Stressful? Definitely. My legs, my waist, my knees, my feets, my entire system. I am aching all over.

Brain damage? After all that interrogations, I am almost there.

Right after sending Mary back to her apartment, I thought of taking a rest on Sunday so I told her, Hey I am not coming to see you tomorrow, I need to do my laundry and some other things plus I don't really feel well already, I need rest. You have been here a few days already, I am sure you know your way around to the nearby shops to find food and do your shopping.

By then, I had sore throat, headache, slight fever as I was hot all over and it was that time of the month too. She said, okay no problem.

But that was yesterday.

Today (Sunday), she called up to inform me she's lost in Sg Wang and to please come find her.

I was sleeping the whole day, not because I wanted to, but because I wasn't feeling well. Terrible headache.

Well, I told her this, Can you just ask any of the sales assistant in the shopping mall to help you or find information counter and ask for the way?

But she wouldn't listen. In the end, she said, she'll wait for me to fetch her no matter how long it takes for me to arrive because she is lost and couldn't find her way out. KNNCCB!!!

Seriously! Age isn't a measure of how well a person uses his/her brain to think.

I am not going to blog what happened after. Just enough to make me edgy and an ass, right till this moment.

People Watching

On Thursday, 17th of this month, I went for Microsoft Visual Studio 2008 Technical Preview. I had to set out early because the starting time is 9am. In trying to reduce my carbon footprint, I decided to use the LRTs but it took more travelling time than I expected. What I like about the morning ride though is the wide LRT window - looking out through it and absorbing all the views. Really nice.

The event was okay, but I skipped a couple of tracks in the afternoon and spent time at Craft Haven looking for my Jo Sonja's paint tubes. I bought a 12-piece vibrant basic samplers and large tubes of Phthalo Green and Iridiscent White. Total damage : RM112 (killer price I know so I gotta make full use of it and not waste it like the Saintograph's I bought earlier).

On the way back, I took a bus. It's a long ride - about 1 hour 20 minutes during peak hours from 1 Utama to KL Sentral. I almost pengsan. Upon reaching KL Sentral, I hopped on the monorail and this is where I saw two amazing sights.

I was seated opposite this Arabian 'lady' who is covered up with a guy next to 'her'. Why the quote/unquote marks you ask? I believe 1000% percent that he is a jantan. Seriously.

She sat with both kaki damn kangkang like a guy, her nails like a guy, I couldn't see her Adam's apple cuz it's covered but she has a big unta-like nose with super big pores like a guy, her eyes shaped like a guy, her shoes darn huge like a guy, she wore pants with the kind of texture guys use, she had a thick white socks like a guy and she's very flat-chested. Above all her voice very jantan and macho. Why the hell is 'she'/he wearing the long black purdah or hijab or whatever it is called?

Then there is another one. Standing, slightly to the middle left of my seat is an Indian lady with the biggest assets I have ever seen. Huiyoo! Mata terbeliak!

She is short and chubby, wears a darn short miniskirt showing her not so leggy chocolate-colored legs but it was her boobs that caught my attention. It was super huge I tell you, even Pamela Anderson's wan cannot compare. So Miss Chubby Short with a cup DD or maybe even more, how can I not stare?

I did. I stared, all the while thinking, "Damn that's huge like kelapa or limau gajah or watermelo. How the hell did she get that kind of boobs? It looks soooooo heavy. I wonder if those are real? Hmmm, I even wonder if Minachi can let me test and picit picit? Hehehe.. But it's all in the head you see, I only dare stare.

So, I guess that was a fruitful day for my eyes. People watching is definitely wonderful.

Feng Shui Update 2008

Since I first got a taste of Lilian Too’s Feng Shui Extravaganza in 2005, I have always made it a point to attend the once–a-year event. It’s a worthwhile affair and I’d like to think Feng Shui as Applied Science of Time and Space.

I don’t practice all the way though, just the necessary part of it. Learning and gaining Feng Shui insight is seriously amusing. Other than being to recognize symbolism and usage, also works as an option to blame when things go wrong. Teehee..

Here they are... the summary of the topics covered that day, in my own words, for my own notes.

The Year’s 4 Pillars Chart

• 2008 is the Year of the Earth Rat
• Unbalanced chart because 2 elements are missing therefore the year requires Metal and Fire elements.
• In the Year Pillar, clashing elements between Earth and Water. Literally translated as “Water below the earth” (because of the HS/EB). Earth disaster predicted. Think landslide.
  

Flying Stars Feng Shui

Flying Stars Feng Shui is slightly more in depth into finding out which stars go into which compass locations/sectors. Knowing this helps in figuring out which sectors of the house are auspicious and which are not and then either remedy, suppress or enhance.

Notes :

• SouthWest has #7 Burglary Star. Remove Earth & Metal elements. Put Double Horned Blue Rhino and Water element.
• South has triple afflictions: The #5 Yellow, 3 Killings and also direct conflict with Tai Sui. Remove Earth and Fire elements. Best to keep this area as quiet as possible. Best remedy is 5 Elements Pagoda.
• NorthWest has the #2 Illness Star. This star brings sickness, disease and fatal illness to the Patriach or male occupants of this sector. Earth and Fire elements aggravate this sector. Remedy with Wu Lou.
• West has #3 Quarrelsome Star. Remove Wood element. Do not have windchime, any kind of noise like TV and radio. Suppress by putting Red color.
• East is a Lucky sector. Best to put Water and Crystal Dragon.
• North is a Lucky sector. Best to put Water and Crystal Dragon.
• NorthEast has the Peach Blossom Star.
• Center has the auspicious #1 White Star. Put a bejeweled golden dragon facing the door.
  

8 Mansion Feng Shui

My home is facing West sitting East. Buildings facing West are afflicted by the #7, #3 and #2 stars. General summary for this West facing buildings are:

• There could problem with the law and authorities.
• Residents can get cheated or burgled.
• The good luck resides at the back of the building.
• Should activate the East and NorthEast with Water.

Place a protector plaque on top of your main door.

Zodiac Feng Shui

Generally a year with loads of setback for those whose sign is Horse. Best years for Rats, Ox, Dragons, Snakes, Rabbits and Tigers. Not an easy year for Sheep, Monkeys, Dogs and Roosters. Mixed fortune for those born in the year of the Babi.

Do remember though this is a general prediction and analysis varies for each human being. For that, you need to have in depth study of your own 4 Pillars (Paht Chee).

For example, the Paht Chee of the year is lacking Metal and Fire elements so it’s highly suggested that people wear lots of Metal element. Say, I’m a Horse sign and we know Horse this year will face issues due to the South sector having 3 major afflictions. Say, my 4 Pillars have high number of Metal element. That means, additional Metal is overkill. So what do I do? Nothing. No additional Metal required because my Metal is self sufficient. It also tells me that I will fare so much better than most people within the same Zodiac group.


Industries by Element

• Fire and Metal elements businesses will enjoy brisk business.
• Earth element businesses will experience market slowdown so good time to buy property especially in the second quarter of the year.
• Wood element businesses will have at best a very average year.
• Water element businesses will find it a difficult year. Banking is Water element therefore there will be lower rates propelling for property business to grow (Earth element). Oil is also categorized as Water element, due to the setback for Industries categorized as Water element, it is forecasted that oil price will stabilize. Read : surging oil price this year is rather unlikely.
• Banking is already experiencing major problem but it is not the end of it. Expect huge layoffs in Banking and Housing (both Water element industries).

More Info : What Are These 5 Elements?

How to find out what are these 5 elements in your surrounding? Remember that it's all about symbolism. These five elements can be applied to colors, seasons and shapes, compass directions and even body organs, all of which are interacting with each other.

Here are its equivalent.

• Water
  River, swimming pool, waterfall, electricity-enabled decorative waterfall, a pond, aquarium filled with water, the color blue and black.
• Fire
  The color red, lights, fireplace, stove.
• Metal
  Computer, things made of metal, gold bar, gold and silver jewelry, the color silver and gold.
• Wood
  The color green, live plants, wooden furniture.
• Earth
  The color brown, crystals, chandeliers.

There are two cycles involved for the 5 Elements. It is extremely important to understand this part because it's the basic of elemental Feng Shui.

Generating/Creating Cycle

• Water generates wood. Rain nourishes a tree.
• Wood generates fire. Burning wood generates fire.
• Fire generates earth. Ash is created from the fire.
• Earth generates metal. Metal is mined from the earth.
• Metal generates water. Water condenses on metal.

Controlling/Regulating Cycle

• Water controls fire. Water puts fire out.
• Wood controls earth. Tree roots hold clods of earth.
• Fire controls metal. Fire can melt metal.
• Earth controls water. A pond holds water.
• Metal controls wood. An ax cuts wood.

End of Summary.

Now let me live my life this year and see how it is going to be by year end. I’ve got a feeling it’s going to be wonderfully Brilliant, Fantastic and Amazing :)

Selamat Jalan Unker Rim

We don't know each other personally but to me, you are one of Malaysia's great success story that is why I tabik you, can? I am very much awed by the humility and kindness of your cucu whom I know from years ago so he must have gotten all that from you ya? You must feel proud that you have raised a good family :)

So long Unker Rim for you have truly lived.

My condolences to the family.

What do you want to do with your life?

“What do you want to do with your life?” asked a friend.

“Why such a question? Why ask me?”

“’Cause I want to know what I should do with mine,” he replied selamba mode.

“Well, there are things I’d like to do. For example, volunteering for United Nations will be great I think. That will give me a different perspective about life.”

“And then what? Come back here eat sand? Start all over again?”

“I’d like to try National Geographic, no idea as to the kind of job to have though.”

“Half-cooked decision is unwise. Heard they sack people faster than they hire.”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to do with my life. Tell me, since you asked; do you know what to do with yours then? What are you going to do about yours?”

“That’s why I’m asking you. I thought you would know what to do with yours so I could copy some. Bwahahahaha! Right now I’ve too much money and I don’t know what to do next!”

“Fuck you! Take a vacation lah. Spend some of your fortune. Go to Austria, or Germany again. You like those places ma..”

“Been there. After a week I sure feel bored.”

“Bring your gay partner. Or kidnap some chicks.”

“Haha.. yeah right. I like Switzerland though.”

“Take the next flight out.”

“Too far.”

“Fussy.”

“I go Australia lah.”

“No one’s stopping you.”

“Yeah, Australia is closer.”

“I hate you already. Why did you have to ask me that question? Now I can’t rid it off my mind.”

“Easy for you lah. Just marry a rich guy. You can go shopping all the time. Haha!”

“Tsk! Tsk! Your idea off-tangent wan. Intro one to me lah then.”

“Don’t have. Find one.”

Seven months later, I am still pondering over that question. I had many thoughts and many answers, but each one does not exactly fit in. For each one, he would play Opposition and strike each one till I was left with none.

Seven months later and that is today, I met another strategist brain for dinner.

I sighed, “Boy, my head feels heavy. I don’t know to do with MY life. How did you realize what you want in life?”

“I just knew that the basic of all things is M=Money, therefore I focus on achieving money because that drives me to do and be better. I’m a focus-centric person. I have some visions that I want to achieve. Those are the things that keep me going.”

“Yerr...I like that you have such drive and focus. I envy that.”

“If you don’t know the answers to that question try divvy it up. Create smaller, less ambiguous question like, what kind of job do you want or like and then work it out.”

“Yes, I have tried that. Each initial question meets with a series of questions. At the end of it, the main point is, if I do this or if I do that, what kind of value would it bring to my life in future? And in my future what kind of thing will I be doing? I have no idea about those leh.”

“Yes, totally agree. Therefore you have to work in reverse sequence.”

“That’s a new one,” I said.

“See yourself five years or ten years from now. You set the scenario of your future, things you would have already achieved and done. Then work backward. How did you get there? What action you took to get there. Notice that I asked questions as if it already happened. Instead of, how do you get there, I asked, how did you get there. It’s easier to find answers when you work in reverse sequence and in the process believing that it is already done.”

“I like that thought process. Thanks. Why didn’t I think of that before?”

“Because you’re busy looking for an answer to a wrong question, darling”

“Hey! You’re so right! I feel like an idiot now.”

“Don’t be. It’s good that you asked, because it gives you a fresher take on that isn’t it? Feel better?”

“Totally. Once I get home and unwind, I will have to do some story of my life, from the future. Reminds me of Heroes and Hiro Nakamura – the hero from the future.”

Seven months later and that is today, I found my light.

To Have, To Hold

from the oneness of spirit in matter
you came to me, you came to me now
a synergistic dance of dark and light
surrendered and beautiful
under grace and in perfect ways
blessed be, thank you.

The Very Many Things

...I wish to write about but just could not, or rather would not. The silent awakening transcending logic. I feel like coming home. I feel home.

What's The Word?

Love starts with a cry, a baby’s cry. And then the baby is held and it’s loved. Love always ends with a tear.

A little boy or a little girl is loved by both the mother and father. Or the child may be loved by the mother more than the father, or vice versa. Or it may not be loved at all. Except by God.

Men of great wealth have given away all their worldly possessions for love, only to never find or receive the love they needed and wanted so badly.

The poor so often have only their love to give, and when they receive love, it fills them with a richness no wealthy man can understand.

Love is always with us, but so many are afraid to show their feelings. They’re so desperately afraid exposing themselves. Love, true love, does make you terribly vulnerable.

Love is strong and yet it’s so terribly delicate – like a fine and rare pieces of sparkling glass, it can shatter before your eyes. How many times we’re laughed at, for what we share our love with. Our animals, the flowers we look at on a sunny day, birds nesting, an old tree that has stood through three generations, some old toys, photographs of us when we were young, that old attic or basement that’s still full of a lot of memories – we loved them all.

I wonder if love, a great and beautiful love, ever stops? And if it does, why? And does one have the power to rekindle it, bring it back to what it was?

It’s always been fascinating to me that there are so many different kinds of love. Most people love and long for peace. Still others love war. Many – too many – people, love hate, violence, the sight of blood. Some people love to see other people twist and squirm in the presence of others. Many love the real and incredible feeling of touching, holding, of another.

So many people not only enjoy, but truly love dressing up and pretending they’re anybody but who they really are.

People love to be told how much they’re loved. There must be a few, I hope only a few, who love to be hated, in fact, thrive on it.

People often speak of an “undying love” for one another. My, what strength lies in that phrase! I wonder if I’ve known that kind of love?

Is love always with you? Is it always part of you, day in, day out, or does it come and go? It’s true I question what true love is all about. Just about the time I think I’ve found the answer, it slips through my fingers. Real love should be so warm, pleasant, easy, wonderful; then why is there so much attached to it?

How much do you want to be loved? A lot? Sometimes? A little bit? Till the end of time? Would you love me for now? For now is all I’m sure of.

Don’t ever love when it’s convenient. Never hide your love, you just might be a better actor than I bargained for.

Love is only four letter words, but maybe someday it will be a bigger word. I think it should be, it’s overpowering. I want that word, selfishly, to be huge.

The Measure of a Man

The greatest measure of our lives is not public recognition, but the legacy we leave behind, the people we have touched and the way in which we did it. That's according to RD.

So to this, I hope to be able to give something back to humanity, hence my signing up for maximum 24 months contract for UN Volunteer work. If indeed this comes true, I foresee exciting times ahead. :)